Thursday, 5 March 2009

Monday, 12 January 2009

Tha Daily Show's Story of Obama

Thursday, 8 January 2009

The 'misunderestimated' president

A great collection of Bushisms from BBC news.

The 'misunderestimated' president?

All politicians are prone to make slips of the tongue in the heat of the moment - and President George W Bush has made more than most.

The word "Bushism" has been coined to label his occasional verbal lapses during eight years in office, which come to an end on 20 January.

Here are some of his most memorable pronouncements.

ON HIMSELF

"They misunderestimated me."
Bentonville, Arkansas, 6 November, 2000

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again."
Nashville, Tennessee, 17 September, 2002

"There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead."
Washington DC, 11 May, 2001

"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."
Nashville, Tennessee, 27 May, 2004

FOREIGN AFFAIRS

"For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times."
Tokyo, 18 February, 2002

"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself."
Grand Rapids, Michigan, 29 January, 2003

"I think war is a dangerous place."
Washington DC, 7 May, 2003

"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the - the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."
Washington DC, 27 October, 2003

"Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat."
Washington DC, 17 September, 2004

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."
CBS News, Washington DC, 6 September, 2006

EDUCATION

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
Florence, South Carolina, 11 January, 2000

"Reading is the basics for all learning."
Reston, Virginia, 28 March, 2000

"As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards."
CNN, 30 August, 2000

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''
Townsend, Tennessee, 21 February, 2001

ECONOMICS

"I understand small business growth. I was one."
New York Daily News, 19 February, 2000

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
Reuters, 5 May, 2000

"I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine Labour Secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified."
Austin, Texas, 8 January, 2001

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."
Washington DC, 19 May, 2003

HEALTHCARE

"I don't think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs."
Orlando, Florida, 12 September, 2000

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."
Poplar Bluff, Missouri, 6 September, 2004

TECHNOLOGY

"Will the highways on the internet become more few?"
Concord, New Hampshire, 29 January, 2000

"It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber."
Washington DC, 10 April, 2002

"Information is moving. You know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets."
Washington DC, 2 May, 2007

OUT OF LEFT FIELD

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
Saginaw, Michigan, 29 September, 2000

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
LaCrosse, Wisconsin, 18 October, 2000

"Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."
Tucson, Arizona, 28 November, 2005

"That's George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three - three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting?"
Speaking to reporter Kai Diekmann, Washington DC, 5 May, 2006

ON GOVERNING

"I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together."
Bartlett, Tennessee, 18 August, 2000

"I'm the decider, and I decide what is best."
Washington DC, 18 April, 2006

"And truth of the matter is, a lot of reports in Washington are never read by anybody. To show you how important this one is, I read it, and [Tony Blair] read it."
On the publication of the Baker-Hamilton Report, Washington DC, 7 December, 2006

"All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone."
San Diego, California, 25 October, 2007

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."
Washington DC, 12 May, 2008

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/world/americas/7809160.stm

Published: 2009/01/07 18:02:34 GMT

© BBC MMIX

Sunday, 28 December 2008

Breaking news: 2009 refuses to enter



We are interrupting whatever it is you are doing to inform you that the year 2009 has locked himself in the profound emptiness of the infinity and refuses to enter.


He claims that he has neither the will nor the energy to take over this world and prefers to remain forever safe behind the boundaries of nonexistence.


An army of representatives, including world leaders, Nobel laureates and the year 2008 himself came to talk to the obstinate brat. The leaders were desperate, believing that this means the end of the world, but 2008 reassured them that this is a typical scene, taking place every year, albeit in a less dramatic scale and in a more private environment.


He even confessed himself, in a manner that many interpreted as nostalgic, a time that he was himself chained in his birth bed, refusing to start his duty.


In the meantime, 2009 oscillates between menacing shouts and even more frightening silence. In his loud messages he denounces this surreal world that refuses to learn, a humanity that is fond of self-destruction and a predictable yet uncertain future.

“What’s gonna happen in me?”, he cried “What are you gonna remember me for? I don’t wanna know! Leave me alone, people!”


People have been making all sorts of promises and resolutions to the baby year to convince it to enter. This is a constant source of entertainment for the retired years that gathered to watch in order to kill the time of their lazy afternoon. “Who are the people kidding”? 2001 said. “These promises are so old even the people know they won’t happen, let alone us! But, oh, the poor boy… I understand him. People only remember me for 9/11. It’s just not fair. Our job sucks and we get no credit for it.”


Some experts are predicting that this pigheadedness is bound to wear out soon. They said that in the end they all come and do their job, whether they like it or not. They may be obstinate in disavowing the state of the world but we are more obstinate in keeping the state of the world the way it is.


We will keep you informed in case this year manages to stay away longer. You may notice it, anyway. In any case, you don't have to change your attitude. We should not succumb to bratish demands.


Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Time's top 10 Editorial Cartoons for 2008

As published here

10) Chris Jurek, November 7

9) Rogers/Pittsburgh/Post Gazette, February 8

8) Walt Handelsman/Newsday, February 15


7) Gary Varvel/The Indianapolis Star/Creators Syndicate, May 16



6) Heng/Lianhe Zaobao/CWS, August 29


5) Beeler/The Washington Examiner/Cagle Cartoons, October 3


4) Matson/The New York Observer/Cagle Cartoons. September 5



3) Bok/Akron Beacon Journal, May 9


2) Gorrell Art/Creators Syndicate Inc., April 11


1) Gary Varvel/The Indianapolis Star/Creators Syndicate, September 12



If you want to see more cool lists, go to the Time's Top 10 Everything of 2008

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Remembering the Undecided Voters Association


The Association “Remembering the Undecided” was launched today in 6 states of America. Its goal is to honour and remember the undecided voters throughout a presidency and not only before the elections.


“This is an association long overdue,” the chair of the association said in his opening speech. “We have been neglected repeatedly in every single election as soon as we vote. The media care for us only when it’s in their interest.”


The media give extensive coverage to the undecided voters before the elections, but completely ignore them after. The effects of this sudden loss of spotlight can be extremely traumatic. The psychologist of the Association said that they want to help people cope with the neglect of the media and at the same time find ways to attract the attention all year round.


“Finally, we will pay a tribute to all us undecided,” one of the members said. “The public needs to know that we are here. The media too. They shouldn’t forget us. For what it’s worth, I’m already undecided for the 2012 and the 2016 elections.”







Thursday, 11 December 2008

Record-breaking Facebook application gives life a meaning


The latest application on Facebook has broken every possible record of the social networking site.

More than 50 million people added it on the first hours of its release, and it has been running non-stop ever since.

The application is called Watch Me and it involves a mini-camera that is stuck on the user's forehead and whose images are broadcasted live on Facebook, next to the user's status, or in the place of the photograph.

"The idea was to create the best possible up-to-date status feeder," the application's inventor said. "People want everybody to know what they are doing all the time and updating their status every half an hour was not enough."

The site was bombarded with fascinating images of everyday life, like waking up, brushing one's teeth, using the toilet and making breakfast. Even more interesting though, were the images of people going out and having a good time for everybody to see.

"I just thought my experiences were pointless so far", Jane, a 21-year-old member said. "Every time I went out I thought to myself 'I gotta take a lot of photos to let people know I'm having a good time' and then I kept thinking what would be the best status update for the next day. This wasn't enough. Now with Watch Me everybody will know what I'm doing at all times."

Many groups were created in support of the application like "Please Watch Me" and "What's the point if nobody's watching?". The comments on these groups' walls were filled with emotion:
"Finally my life has meaning. Please will someone watch it?"

"I am living my life for you. Watch me!!!"

"Get a life and show it! I did!"


Another group was created, to unite the actual viewers, the ones who are wondering all day what other people are doing, but it has 0 members so far. Even the administrator of the group admitted that he only made the group to attract more people to watch him.

In fact, YouTube had agreed to become a partner, but the deal was cancelled when they saw that the uploaders far outstrip the viewers.

A new guidebook will soon be published to help people make the most of the application and of facebook in general. It has chapters like "I'm the best: making others jealous", "organizing events that sell on facebook" and "image total makeover: be the best you can show".



Monday, 1 December 2008

Visionary plan makes Christmas 10 weeks longer

The Christmas holiday is so predictable that people have the blues that it's over even before it starts. They refuse to believe that after the warm family dinners, the presents and the decorations, they will have to return to a miserable existence.

That's the rule and it has been happening ever since Christmas became fashionable.

But not anymore.

They say that people have a short memory and never learn, but a new plan is about to show that this is not true. It has taken the example of the economy, where everybody learned to borrow money from the future generations and the example of the environment, where everybody learned to load all our crap on the future generations. This innovative plan will now use the time of the future generations to make our holiday longer and better.

The Act Christmas4ever/2008 will actually borrow a week of holidays from every year between 2150 to 2160, making this year's Christmas 10 weeks longer and their future Christmas only one week less.

The best part about this plan is that no living person of this planet right now will live to see the 1-week Christmas in 2150.

Some progressive politicians had proposed an even bigger and more daring plan, that would make a big holiday all of 2009, but it still faces bureaucratic procedures until the official proposal.

Our reliable, internal sources inform us that the next proposal will include a 3-day weekend for next year, borrowing all Saturdays from 2161. Again, this visionary project will make sure that no person from this generation will live to work 6 days per week in 2161.

Our only concern is that the future generations might invent a time-machine to come back and kick our asses.

In which case, there are back-up plans to blow up the planet after our generation dies, just in case.

Merry Christmas!
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